As we round on our first year with COVID-19, I admit that I’m feeling tired. I’m feeling emotionally exhausted from the toll of bad news and the strain of not seeing friends and loved ones in person.
I am feeling anxious as a person in their 20s who feels as if I’m missing out on exciting years that are normally dedicated to having fun.
And I won’t just write here and tell you that you should be positive all time, that this too shall pass and whatever other spoonfuls of sunshine we are usually being fed by social media. The truth is — this sucks, it all sucks.
I think it is okay to grieve the lives we had before COVID, and don’t get me wrong, I think it’s important to have hope that we will get back to our normal lives eventually, but it is also okay to admit that it is not okay.
This all sucks, but it sucks a lot less than being the one to get a loved one sick. It sucks less than knowing the person you gave COVID too won’t win their battle against the virus. It sucks less than having chronic illness and organ failure as an aftermath result of catching COVID, even if you get past it.
I sympathize with people struggling right now, because I am too. All we can do at the moment is put our best foot forward to keep each other safe and our numbers low — because then and only then will restrictions continue to lift.
For me one of the ways I have been distracting myself is by diving into projects. Right now I’m in the middle of a room renovation, a personal blog and website renovation and lots of little art projects.
It isn’t a substitute for hanging out with friends or going out dancing; but there is a level of satisfaction when you dive headlong into task that keeps the COVID blues away; at least for another day.
Just remember, even though we should try to find the positives in our lives right now, you don’t have to punish yourself for having negative feelings. COVID-19 is a new trauma, a disturbance in everyday life — it is perfectly normal to not feel balanced while the world we know is continuously shifting around us. Give yourself a break and treat yourself with kindness.
shaela.dansereau@pipestoneflyer.ca
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